Exposing Why I Refer Some and Not Others: Lessons from My LinkedIn Cold Outreach for Referrals

Itay Sharfi
Mar 18
3 min read

Networking through LinkedIn is one of the most powerful ways to access hidden opportunities in tech. When done right, a cold outreach message asking for a referral can open doors that job boards simply don’t. However, not every message earns a referral. In many tech companies, a successful referral can come with a bonus—often ranging between $500 and $2,000. In this post, I break down real LinkedIn messages from the past few weeks, explaining why I referred some people and passed on others.

The Art of Cold Outreach for Referrals

Cold outreach isn’t about bombarding strangers with generic requests. It’s about crafting a personalized, clear, and compelling message that resonates with the recipient. Here are a few key principles:

Clarity: Be straightforward about what you’re asking for.
Relevance: Show that your background aligns with the opportunity.
Personalization: Reference specifics that indicate you’ve done your homework.
Respect for Time: Keep your message concise while including all necessary details.

Real-Life Examples from My LinkedIn Inbox

I typically receive about two referral requests per week. Below are examples of LinkedIn cold messages—some that resulted in a referral and some that didn’t—with my commentary on why each approach worked or fell short.

Example 1: Warm Introduction with a Chat Request – No Referral

Message:"I hope you're doing well! My name is [Name], and I am a fourth-year student at [University]. I attended your Break Into Tech: Land Your First Role event and found your insights incredibly valuable. Your background in tech and deep understanding of breaking into the industry really resonated with me. [more text] Would you be open to a quick chat? I’d greatly appreciate any advice you have! Looking forward to staying in touch!"

My Response: I generally don’t do phone chats with people I don't know well unless there's a strong reason, and I added, “I work in product management—are you referring to opportunities at Google? You can check the website for open roles and let me know if you find something that seems like a good fit.”

Why It Didn’t Work:

Indirect Ask: The message built rapport but never explicitly asked for a referral.
Diffused Focus: Requesting a chat instead of a direct referral made the goal ambiguous.
Unclear Opportunity: Without a specific role or match, it was hard to take the next step.

Example 2: Vague Request – Uncertain Intentions

First Message: "Hey, actually I need your support. I recently completed my master's [degree] from [university] , with a GPA of 4.0. I’d love to hear about any opportunities you might share." My Response: "Sounds like a great background. What type of opportunities?" Second Message: "Data related job roles" My Response: "I work in product management—are you referring to opportunities at Google? You can check the website for open roles and let me know if you find something that seems like a good fit."

Why It Didn’t Work:

Ambiguous Request: It wasn’t clear if they wanted a referral or general advice.
Lack of Specificity: Without a direct referral ask or a defined role, it’s hard to justify taking action.

Example 3: Straightforward, Well-Matched Request – A Referral I Gave

Message:"Hello Itay, I trust you are doing well. I am reaching out because I saw a new opportunity at Google that I want to apply to. Would you be open to referring me for the role? Your support would be greatly appreciated. Here are the LinkedIn and Google Career links:[LinkedIn Job Link][Google Career Link] Here is my email address: [email] I have also attached my resume in case you need it. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you!"

Why It Worked:

Direct and Clear: The candidate’s request was unambiguous, and they provided all necessary information.
Tailored Match: Their background was a strong match for the role, giving me confidence in referring them.
Complete Details: Including links and a resume made it easy to verify the fit.

Key Takeaways for Effective LinkedIn Cold Outreach

Clarity is Critical: Your request should clearly state that you’re seeking a referral.
Match Your Background to the Role: Ensure there’s a clear connection between your skills and the opportunity.
Avoid Extra Favors: If you’re only asking for a referral, keep the focus on that rather than adding extra requests like phone chats.
Provide Complete Information: Attach your resume, include relevant links, and keep your message concise yet informative.

Final Thoughts

Cold outreach on LinkedIn for a referral is all about being direct, personal, and respectful of both your time and the recipient's. When done well, you should be able to secure a referral from someone within the company. In most cases, this extra edge might just land you an interview.